My child is wetting the bed: should I be concerned?

Here are the facts: 30 percent of four year olds wet the bed, and by age six about 10 percent are bedwetting. By age 11 there are still five percent, or one in 20, children who are bedwetting. In other words, the vast majority of children will just grow out of bedwetting if you do nothing. In the meantime, though, bedwetting can cause embarrassment and social problems.

My advice, then, is that if your six year old is still bedwetting it is time to engage in some strategies to help your child achieve nighttime dryness while maintaining a calm and positive attitude to your child and their desire to be dry at night. You may want to consult a doctor to rule out medical causes like neurological conditions (rare) or bladder infections (not so rare).

What causes bedwetting in children over the age of six?

The main known cause is hereditary: 75 percent of children who are bedwetters have a parent or sibling who is or was a bedwetter.

Compared with children who have achieved night-time dryness, bedwetters are more likely to: 

• Have a smaller bladder capacity

• Sleep deeply so don’t wake up when the bladder is full

• Produce more urine at night (due to not concentrating urine as well).

• Are constipated.

How do children feel about bedwetting?

Child may not tell you how they feel, but here are some things that kid say about their bedwetting: 

• "I get really angry with myself."

• "I feel like a baby."

• "I can't stay over at friends' houses."

• “I can’t invite anyone to stay over at my house”

• "I can’t go on school camps."

• "I pray before I go to sleep that I won’t wet the bed."

How can I help my child?

There are plenty of things you can try which will support your child as they grow out of bed wetting. 

• Develop a plan with you child about how to cope. Discuss what strategies you’ll both use.

• Have a clear aim of no wet beds. That may mean going all night without weeing or your child waking up when their bladder is full so that they can go to the toilet.

• Avoid giving fizzy or caffeinated drinks, particularly after 4pm, but do not restrict fluids (it does not work and it feels controlling).

• Avoid constipation by increasing fruits, vegetables, whole grains and cereals in their diet.

• Try a night-light and make sure your child can get to the toilet easily and safely alone.

• Do not wake your child up to take them to the toilet. This will further reduce bladder capacity and can delay natural continence.

• Avoid disposable nappies or pull-ups as they prevent your child from feeling wet when they start to wee; thus actually prolonging nighttime bedwetting.

• Have a minimum of two Conni Kids bed wetting pads and keep them in your child’s bedroom where they can reach them. (It is important that the child feels wet and will wake up naturally; thus learning the association between a full bladder and bedwetting).

• If your child is sometimes dry at night a motivational star chart (like the one that comes with our Conni Kids bed pad) may be just the extra incentive your child needs to achieve night time dryness. (Avoid using a star chart, however, if your child has never had a dry night as this is not under their control and failing to win the stars and rewards may actually make things worse for your child emotionally).

• Allow your child to go to bed in a pajama top and snug fitting undies on the bottom only; that makes it easy for your child to change their own pants. If your child is a boy get them to point their penis down inside their pants to help prevent wetting the upper bed linen.

• Encourage your child to change their own Conni bed pad and wet pants.

• Ensure your child has a shower or bath before they go to school to avoid your child smelling of urine and being bullied and/or embarrassed.

• Be persistent, be positive.

When should I see a doctor?

If you have concerns or just want to make sure your child has no underlying health conditions, particularly if they’re older than six, then it’s a good idea to see your family doctor. The doctor can rule out medical problems and may prescribe further treatment.

Bedwetting is not a problem to your child other than its impact on self-esteem but if the child is wetting the bed after the age of 6 or 7, starts to have a wet bed after a period of being dry at night, or bed wetting occurs with painful bladder, excessive thirst, pink urine or snoring, see a health care professional.